February Thoughts: Life be lifing

Coat: Pretty Little Thing// Turtleneck: Lexi Drew Boutique// pants: Forever 21// Boots: Lexi Drew Boutique// Bag: Telfar//

Hey y’all! I know it’s been a minute, but I’m here now and I’m going to start showing up more consistently on here because this is my original baby, we’ve been riding since 2016 and I see more people from all over finding these blog posts daily and I hope y’all are enjoying, are here to stay and subscribe to our newsletter!

I can’t believe it was just New Year’s Eve and now it’s February 21st, but if 2020 and 2021 taught us anything it’s that time waits for no man and it’s going to move very fast!

For me life has been pretty good I’ve been putting in lots of work with just a tad bit of fun, I’ve been staying focused and disciplined to accomplish my goals that I set for the year while working daily to try to get out of my head. But even though I’ve been working I’ve been feeling every emotion because that’s what life gone do to you regardless of how you feel about it. I wanted to come and give y’all my January and February thoughts because I’ve definitely had my eyes and ears open and to the ground and as I approach 25 even more things are coming into realization

1. You don’t have to be perfect, there’s room in life for error and you’re meant to make mistakes

2. We’re human, don’t take yourself too seriously

3. A new year is honestly just another day so you have to take the responsibility of shifting your mindset into something new

4. Lowkey life is crazy af, you realize so many new things everyday even down to the smallest things

5. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that small situations are a huge testament to your personality and who you are

6. Have fun, live out loud

7. Just do that sh*t

8. Nobody ever said it would be easy, but everything is hard so pick the hard that benefits you the most

9. You don’t have to force yourself into earning relaxation, you deserve a break and you don’t have to feel guilty about it

10. There’s no perfect time and you’ll never have all the answers

11. It’s okay to take things a day at a time

12. If you’ve had the vision it’s going to come to fruition you just have to believe and put the work in

13. Get out of your head

14. Do what works for you and don’t overthink it

15. Stick to your vision regardless of who has what to say, don’t get distracted my background noise

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November/Fall Thoughts

Top: Shein // Coat: Pretty Little Thing// Boots: Ego Shoes// Skirt: Shein// Sunglasses: My Depop

1. The time when summer ends and getting adjusted to Fall and the changes in your daily life isn’t a talked about enough experience

2. If we would’ve known life was this expensive we would’ve started saving at birth

3. Sometimes it’s easy to miss the transitions of when you dreams and prayers turn to reality

4. You gotta be your full self no matter how scary it could feel because you don’t want to regret pretending

5. Use what you got until you can get what you want

6. For a long time I didn’t give TikTok a chance but now I love it

7. As an entrepreneur it’s hard to feel like you have breaks because you’re always doing something, setting time aside for yourself is a whole task

8. Cherish the moment

9. The preparation period be dragging you and then it just start paying off and all making sense, like damn

10. You can subconsciously be holding yourself back, just do it. Make a plan and do it.

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Make Sh*t Happen 2022 Calendar

This Black Friday I released a 2022 calendar called the Make Sh*t Happen Calendar right in time to get ready for what I know is about to be an amazing year.

As an entrepreneur I use lists, journals and I’m always writing things down or typing something in my notes to make sure I stay organized and make sure things flow as smoothly as possible, because if I didn’t God knows I would be a mess and get nothing accomplished. Its possible to accomplish your goals but you have to set a plan, be strategic about the things you do and stay organized so that you can make it happen and scale it. It takes hard work and dedication but what could you want more than to have the life that you desire, there’s nothing I can think of.

Everything wasn’t perfect but in 2021 I’ve accomplished a lot of things that I’ve wanted to do, got to a new level that I’ve never been on before and just experiencing and doing more and elevating my life, but of course I want to go even further because my goal is to be continuously growing so because of that I created this calendar and the Make Sh*t Happen movement so that we can all go on a journey together to keep elevating our lives, motivating each other and getting exactly what we want unapologetically.

This calendar will help you log important dates on your monthly calendars, set monthly goals and have monthly check ins, sheets for tracking your finances monthly and weekly and even a strategy to visualize hitting a yearly financial goal, wellness goals sheet and it all starts with setting the tone for your year and a place to create your vision board. This calendar is going to be my guide to having the year I want to have and making more dreams a reality. We will be documenting our growth by using the Make Sh*t Happen w/ Kay hashtag #MSHWK on Instagram and other platforms and I want it filled with Black women making money, traveling and knocking these goals off one by one. I will also be creating a Make Sh*t Happen series on my YouTube channel because like I said we’re in this together!

Writing things down and organizing my thoughts is what’s helped me accomplish the things I’ve done and what’s going to continue helping me and I know I’m about to be using my calendar daily to make sure I’m staying on track, its time to get even more focused than before. If you trying to get this money and hit these goals in 2022 get your calendar now and start planning! What’s better than having your goals documented and easily accessible on a digital calendar your can access on your phone and you got somebody to do it with and hold you accountable! #Goals #2022Calendar #MSHWK

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Nikki Parker used to have us all wanting to try Alizé

So I was recently rewatching The Parkers again because I love to rewatch shows I love and it was so nostalgic and is still a gem that stood the test of time. The show was and still is entertaining, well done, discussed real issues and was a great representation of Black people on tv because there’s nothing like a good Black sitcom.

But one thing that I got from watching the show again is wanting to try Alizé, if you watched the show you know Nikki didn’t play about her Alize and she had us all wanting to try it when we were young. So I got the idea to go get some to try and make a drink and now I see why Nikki liked it. I got the Bleu Passion Flavor and went from there just adding what I thought would taste good and the drink was bomb!

You know I couldn’t just do it without making some great content to honor the show so check out my reel on my Instagram featuring the iconic The Parkers theme song, click here to watch

Drink Recipe:

Bleu Passion Alizé

lemon juice

fresh mint

Triple Sec

Blue Curaçao

Summertime Living

top: Zara// Shorts: Leyton’s Boutique// Shoes: Asos// bag: Shein// Sunglasses: Shein//

First let’s get into this look! I loved this look so much because it was chill yet still very feminine, and the first time I wore the two piece set that these shorts are apart of it was styled very different (super chill and comfortable), the first time I wore the shorts with the matching crop hoodie, my Hanifa shirt and some slides (here’s a pic) versus this time I did something completely different. I paired these super comfortable shorts with an open back silk shirt from Zara and these very cute sandals from Asos. I definitely played with the colors in the shirt and brought it all together with my accessories. To me style is truly about knowing how to style and wear your pieces different ways because we are not one wear wonders over here. Be comfortable, have fun, look cute and do real hot girl sh*t.

Now to what the post is actually about…

This summer has honestly been a vibe, everything isn’t perfect but my vibe right now is literally just living life. Whether that’s saying yes to every trip that comes my way (because why not), waking up and doing what I want because I have freedom, learning different things about myself, trying to be better at giving myself breaks because I do work hard and I deserve them, telling myself that I don’t have to feel like I have to conquer the world everyday to feel accomplished, having fun with no worries everyday if I want and kicking my feet up and going with the flow while simultaneously working towards my goals.

Sometimes we have to sit back and realize that we’re right in the middle of the things we used to dream about and pray for and the reason why we may feel like we should be doing more is because we’ve done so much and haven’t stopped to even realize or congratulate ourselves because we’re too deep in the work. The summer is ours for the taken and it’s made me realize even more that we aren’t meant to just work ourselves to death but also enjoy the fruits of our labor.

I hope you’re enjoying your summer, because you deserve. It’s okay to have off days but make sure you pick yourself back up.

Stop trying to gentrify being a Black woman: Specifically our Nails

It’s a well known fact that everything Black people do everyone tries to emulate or recreate, but newsflash greatness can’t be copy and pasted.

One of the biggest things that people who are not Black try to take as their own is being a Black woman and everything we do. They try to take how we wear our hair, how we dress, what they think our mannerisms are, how they think we talk, how we dance, and what’s so trendy now is how we wear our nails. Thievery is ingrained in this worlds’ soul, down to every level that it’s actually very sad. Prime example is Black tiktokers going on strike due to unfair treatmeant/notariety of Black creators vs. White creators, as we’ve seen Tik Tok has become dry and white Tik Tokers don’t know what to do for their latest dance videos to our music (cues fake sympathy that they desire but won’t get).

Long acrylic nails are something that Black women have done for centuries, from regular girls to celebrities and track stars like Flo Jo that wore her long acrylic nails while she left people in her dust. Today you see everyone everywhere trying to get really long nails with intricate designs, but newsflash we aren’t new to this we’re true to this and they once again did not create this but adapted something from us and are attempting to…. steal, yet another thing. Just because its a trend right now doesn’t make it new.

My grandma, mom, aunties, and cousins always prided getting their nails done my whole life and I’m sure yours have too, all different lengths, shapes and designs you name it and we’ve had it, y’all didn’t. Black women are called ghetto for their nails, but now its trendy and something that is accepted amongst the masses for other people to do… make it make sense. I remember being a sophomore in high school and finally being able to get my nails done and went every two weeks like a ritual (its that deep).

What they do is they watch us to see what we’re doing, try to figure out how to adapt it, steal it and then x us out and resell it to us. So on this post I’m not only going to talk about the importance and history of nails and how its more than just a maintenance activity but a way of life for Black women and also shed light on how long "this “trend” stems back into our history. You can’t bash us for it, steal it then try to sell it back to us, you don’t get to force your way into our conversations, you don’t get to hijack our culture, you don’t get to tell us something is unacceptable and then turn around and try to make it your own.

Whether the nails are done with precision to go with the fit, current styles or whether this is a lifestyle and you’ve allowed your nails to grow so long that they curl over, this is our history that stems back generations down the line (it’s said that even Egyptians back in BC times kept their nails done) , they said it was ghetto but in the words of designer Naresha Willis (of Avenue N) it’s “Ghetto until proven fashionable” but you also have to realize that white people copying isn’t and won’t stop us or hold us back from doing the sh*t we created because unlike others we mind our business and we don’t have to want to be like anybody else because we create the trends. We are the sauce, the blueprint, the secret society, the elites and all of the above, and don’t you ever forget it. Take the nails off you look like you’re trying too hard.

For a great page that highlights Black girls and their nails click here

May Thoughts

1. Let go and let God

2. Don’t overthink your ideas

3. Don’t hold back on your work, put it out and get better along the way

4. You can shop and save.

5. At 40 the only social media I’ll be doing is unboxings

6. I need someone to give me an unlimited gift card for Home Decor from anywhere

7. At different points of your life your past you is looking at present you in amazement and your future self will look back and smile at how far you’ve come

8. I want to vacation every month at minimum

9. Insecure was an era

10. Black people are so creative in so many different ways and do it WELL

May was a start to an amazing summer that I have been having so far and I know for a fact it will continue. I said I wanted to have a summer like a Rick Ross song and that’s exactly what’s happening. In May my trips started and they’re still just beginning, I did another photoshoot, and lots of other things. Life is full of ups and downs and that’s the whole point.

Click here to see my April thoughts, I saw @lashontae doing this on her Instagram and thought it was a cute way to get more personable on here

April Thoughts

1. As we get older we get better, age is what you make it not the number of years you are

2. Take time to reflect on where you arer because 9 times out of 10 its further than you used to be

3. Don’t be afraid to evolve into different versions of yourself

4. Take time to do nothing

5. Just because you may not be busy right not doesn’t mean you’re available or have free time

6. Take a deep breath

7. You won’t get everything done on the list everyday, its fine

8. Don’t box yourself in

9. You’re the first you, do wtf you want

10. You literally have the freedom to do whatever you want if you decide you’re the one in control. You just can’t be scared to take risks

Many thoughts go through my head on a daily basis but these are 10 that I wanted to share. Everyday we grow and realize something different about ourselves or life, you’re in charge of your life and you have the power and ability to change whatever you don’t like at anytime you just have to get started. Limitations are sometimes things you put on yourself, don’t let something that you can end at anytime have control over you.

It's a Hot Girl Summer and I can't wait

Being at home is cute and all and I really enjoy being at home but ya girl is ready for it to be summer and to be out in these streets. All summer all I’m doing is making money, traveling, looking fly and living my life, that’s always the vibe but this summer its going down like never before and I can’t wait, I just feel like there’s so much to celebrate and why the hell not.

I’m gone be where all the good food and drinks are, where the money resides and where real life sometimes feels like an amazing dream and I can wait to be doing this all while the sun beams on my skin. Aside from everything I want to be doing I hope that lots of great music is released for this summer to play as the soundtrack to all the hoodrat s*t I’ll be doing, sometimes I wish I could watch a movie play back of my life because I know it’ll be lit and it only gets better with time.

I saw a post on Instagram that said “it costs more to plan for the trip than the actual trip” and another that said “I have more trips planned than money but God got me” and both of those posts resonate me because ain’t nothing or nobody stopping these summer plans, even as an adult I love the summer because it just feels like the weekend everyday. Adulthood is not a thing to waste and is not something that the fun should be drained out of year by year as you get older but somehow you have to find a balance of having fun enjoying your life and being responsible, its possible and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t look at enjoying your adulthood as a thing of the past but more so something to celebrate because you want a life you can enjoy and look back on the memories and enjoy those too.

I challenge you to have the time of your life this summer (safely of course), get dressed up even if its to go nowhere and do the things that bring you happiness.

“I want a summer that feels like a Rick Ross song”

Keep up with Kay: How to Keep up with what I'm doing

With so much going on and how the Instagram algorithm is set up it may be hard to always see things when people post them so I wanted to make a dedicated post about all there is that I do, where you can find it and how you can be apart of my platform that is a true reflection of me and my interests.

If you don’t know by now I’m ShaKayla, I am a multidisciplinary creative and entrepreneur. I have three businesses which are Stylish Life Academy the digital platform created to empower, motivate and inspire Black women to go for everything they want, Young Stylish Lifestyle the Fashion news outlet and luxury lounge apparel for a boss by a boss, and Kocktails with Kay a cocktails togo business. Aside from my businesses I am also a wardrobe stylist and creative director which is something I’ve been doing since my sophomore year of college and something that I am getting back to creating many projects for as well as a digital marketing consultant that specializes in social media management and content creation for entrepreneurs and small businesses, you can book me for fashion or business and marketing services by filling out the form on the contact portion of my website or by emailing Shakaylae@yahoo.com

As an entrepreneur and someone with many interests and talents my business portfolio will continue to evolve, but all in all my interests evolve around the realms of fashion, business and lifestyle and that is the content I show and create on my Youtube channel and Instagram page aside from here.

I’ve had this blog since 2016 and I may not post as much as I used to but this is a place that I talk about fashion, real issues and things I love. Here I am even more honest and raw (even though imma be me wherever) because this is my platform, this is my space to say what I want, when I want about what I want and I will continue to do that. You can keep up with me more on my social media especially my Instagram as well as keeping up with my videos on Youtube, if you want my tips and advice outside of my blog head to the shop section of my website to purchase my ebooks.

I hope y’all love it here because I love y’all and I will be posting much more than I have been because this has been my baby and always will be. Subscribe to my site and follow all of my social media to catch these looks and everything else I bring y’all.

Instagram @keepingupwithKay

Youtube ShaKayla Diamond

Twitter @ShaKaylaDiamond

XO ShaKayla

Let's get it!!! Its 2021 and I'm ready

2020 is over and we are now officially in 2021 and today marks the first Monday and the first work week of the new year and I’m so excited. I took a few days off from the end of 2020 through today simply to just enjoy the holiday and get ready for the new year and all that I have planned and in store. I felt like instead of me trying to do everything to prepare for the holiday and trying to create and upload additional content I wanted to just pause, be still and prepare to get ready for 2021 so I could off the clip on all of the ideas I want to breath life into this year. The past few days I have been working and planning but now officially marks day one for me of getting things done and its time to hit the ground running and turn everything up a few notches because all of the goals your write down means nothing if you never put the action into getting them done.

2020 taught me to always be prepared for anything and everything because truly ANYTHING can happen and sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it aside from adapt and make it work for you. For me there is an energy surrounding this new year that feels like positivity, sustainability, growth, good times, great experiences, business growth, personal growth and money. Despite it all some great things happen for me in 2020 and there are memories I made that I will never forget but 2021 for me just feels different. I was excited and anticipating but when the clock struck 12 and the ball dropped I felt the switch and I’m so ready. This year my theme is going with the flow, not overthinking myself out of certain ideas, being present, creating the things I want to see even without all of the resources, having a blast per usual and being where the money resides.

I am implementing more structure and schedules into my work days so I can get more done and still be organized and feel motivated with being a full time entrepreneur and having multiple businesses. When you work for yourself yes there are many pros to it but with being your own boss it takes discipline and discipline takes a lot of strength to make it a habit. This year I will be making decisions that will allow me to have more free time to do other things and handle bigger projects but will also allow for the day-to-day tasks in my businesses and life to get done 10 times better. This year is about health, wealth, love and good memories as it always is.

Don’t give up on yourself or dreams but figure out how to make it work. Nothing is perfect so don’t expect perfection from yourself or other things/people but just be ready to do the work that will yield you the results you desire. I’m wishing anybody who s reading this a happy new year and I hope everything you want this year comes to you or better.

Holiday Gift Guide: The Black Effect, 50+ Black Owned Businesses to Shop

We all know that during the holiday season is when many of us are shopping even more than usual because we have a reason from Black Friday to Cyber Monday, Christmas shopping and whatever else, but if we’re going to be shopping we might as well incorporate some Black owned brands into your shopping because there are so many amazing ass Black owned brands and products to grab, so here’s over 50 to choose from.

1. Lit Bklyn

2. Dash of Dacy

3. Iccon

4. Curl Box

5. ForHer Cosmetics

6. Gxld Natural

7. Oui the People

8. Fancy Homebody

9. Sucre Couture

10. NL the brand

11. Nicolette Nichelle

12. Modish Decor Pillows

13. Cream Blends

14. Aziza Handcrafted

15. Broken Land Co.

16. Love, Vera

17. The Abi Project & 57th Ave Footwear

18. NL the Label by Nichole Lynel

19. Third Crown

20. GrayScale

21. Forvr Mood

22. Hanifa

23. Fenoel

24. The Brand Label

25. Curl Box

26. Black Girl Sunscreen

27. Miss Empowher

28. Savage X

29. Fenty Skin

30. Fenty Beauty

31. Pattern Beauty

32. Paper Standards

33. Glamaholic Lifestyle

34. BeEyeConic

35. Yaito

36. Kill Wardrobe

37. Harper Ray Accessories

38. Drenched Swim

39. Fly Behavior

40. Tier NYC

41. Unwrp

42. MoonxCosmetics

43. SnobLife

44. Sosha Bianca Studios

45. The Lip Bar

46. The Honey Pot Co

47. Chic Geeks

48. Telfar

49. Black Caviar

50. Love Noor

51. Pnk Elephant

52. Circa Scents (Hand Blended Perfume oils)

53. Buttah Skin

54. The Black Home

55. Mischo Beauty

Services:

Pretty Haute Marketing

Meagan Ward (Marketing)

The Bee Agency (PR)

Kyona McGee (Trademark Lawyer)

Hopefully you make some great purchases from some great companies this season, you can also check out my Black Owned Business directory with over 150 business you can shop in different categories.

Have a great holiday season, xoxo.

Get Prepared for What's to Come: COVID-19 is NO Joke

So we all knew or should have figured that COVID wouldn’t be magically going anywhere anytime soon and many of us figured there would be a second wave just from seeing that stats during the peak of quarantine and even it being spoken about on the news and media outlets but I think the confusion and disbelief comes into play because if we’re being honest many people didn’t and still aren’t taking this seriously. Many people have continued to be out and about and careless as if this is all a make believe story because many people think that it is and even though we do have these careless people there are also people that thought or hoped this would go away and there would be no second wave because most of us have never experienced anything like this and fear of the unknown is definitely a thing. But I’m here to give you some tips on how you can prepare for this second wave whether you figured it was coming or if you’re just realizing how serious this is or even if you’re scared and don’t know what to think, all feelings are valid to feel.

Things you need to Understand first:

1. First things first stop thinking this is fake if you think that, this is not up for debate. This is real, people are dying. This may be being called a second wave but it never stopped, people still have been getting sick but the numbers are just getting back super high and this is especially due to the change in weather, it being flu and cold season so people are getting sick easier, people not wearing masks and many moving as if nothing is going on.

2. Stop emptying the grocery stores, many people lack consideration for others and emptying out the grocery stores and stacking up on all these things you won’t need is unproductive. We will still be able to leave our homes so yes stock up but don’t stock up like the world is ending and keep taking all of the essentials and leave the bare minimum for others especially when we have been dealing with this since March and clearly see that the world didn’t end and you din’t need all that toilet paper and paper towel you stocked up on.

3. At this point we need to do the simple things properly and stop worrying about everything else. Your health and the people you do and don’t know health is important so stop risking people’s wellbeing just because you want to be selfish. Simply be considerate of others, there is much we don’t know but what else do y’all want to know if the things we do know people can’t even follow like wearing a mask.

4. This will not just go away by acting like its not happening.

5. This is affecting everyone differently (in all aspects) and some people more than others so be conscious of that.

How to get Prepared:

1. WEAR THE DAMN MASK, and OVER your nose. Like I don’t understand what is so hard about wearing the mask. I am really starting to believe people just like to go against the grain even if its in their best interest to just listen and follow the rules

2. Be responsible. If you are sick stay home as much as possible, if you cough or sneeze do it into your elbow, use hand sanitizer always, wash your hands to get rid of germs, if you need tissue use it and properly dispose of it.

3. Social distance. It is okay to miss out on events and going out especially during this time. Stop thinking its okay to be in the club. Not saying be stuck in the house but stop going to heavily populated places and remember to social distance. YOU WON’T MISS ANYTHING if you choose to hang up going out for awhile for the betterment of health. The quicker everyone follows the rules the quicker we can get this under control and find some sense of normalcy.

4. Stop thinking that the shutdowns are some sort of government conspiracy when people are literally dying and its necessary. Even if there were things to raise our eyebrow about so what real people are getting sick and some more than others.

5. Realize that this is REAL and always has been, it didn’t just become real because now someone you know or that you’re close with has COVID. People are sick, businesses are closing, people are losing their jobs, people are losing their homes, people can not afford basic necessities etc.

6. Take care of yourself. Make sure that you are taking vitamins, that you’e drinking enough water, that you are eating enough and properly, that you are getting adequate sleep and that you are protecting yourself and staying on top of your health. You want to do what you can to build your immune system before you even get sick. Do your part and be responsible.

7. It is flu and cold season and this happens every year, not everyone who has a runny nose or cough has COVID, but with the current state of things if you feel like you have more than a normal cold you NEED to get tested just to be on the safe side and make sure you aren’t potentially passing along what you may have to others, don’t have symptoms and be in denial and trying to just ignore it until it magically goes away that’s immature and irresponsible.

8. You don’t have to be stuck in the house, BUT make sure that if you are going anywhere that there is limited people, that it is social distancing and COVID friendly and that you keep hand sanitizer on you and aren’t touching your face after touching things and that you are wearing a mask. But if I’m going to be honest many things are going back into shut down if they haven’t in your state or city yet its coming so it is definitely best to stay home and if you can’t deal with being at home or by yourself then there may be something bigger that you need to work through. The weather is getting colder meaning more people have the possibility to get sick so just stay home, everything will be there when its safe to go back out.

9. Stay layered. It is now cold out so make sure you have on a proper coat, hat, scarf or gloves if needed and warm clothes and shoes, because who wants to be sick or cold COVID or not.

Effects on Holiday Season:

1. SO yes we all know that it is holiday season and Thanksgiving, Christmas, Black Friday and the New Year are right around the corner but this year fallback on the huge family gatherings for safety reasons. You can still celebrate and enjoy yourself but just be safe and take correct precautions and stay away from large gatherings.

2. It is possible for this to still be the most wonderful time of the year SAFELY. Since the beginning of quarantine in March people have still found safe and very fun and innovative ways to celebrate things, so do the same for the holidays. It is going to definitely be different but none of us could’ve predicted this so just get creative in your celebration ideas to still celebrate with family but safely and in a social distancing friendly way

3. Love on the people around you a little more. This is effecting everyone and their emotions differently so check on people more often or do nice little things for them to uplift their spirits and especially make sure you are checking on and loving on yourself more. The holiday season can already be hard for many people so just be more kind and patient this season

4. Gift giving and shopping are a major part of the holiday season especially because of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday. Support Black Owned and smaller businesses this season because they need it a lot more than big corporations right now and there are so many amazing ass Black Owned businesses to support with great quality products and experiences (holiday gift guide coming soon, but check out my Black Owned business directory)

5. So much has happened in 2020 in every part of the world so it is important to appreciate, be grateful and thankful for even the smallest things. Even if you can only celebrate the holiday with the people in your home at least be grateful that you still have a home, that you had the money to be able to afford to do anything for the holiday and that you still have your life and made it through the year thus far. You don’t have to physically be around people to enjoy their company, pick up the phone, have a zoom party, group FaceTime etc.

I hope you learned something from this post even if it was just a different way of thinking. Be safe, Be smart, Wear your damn mask and OVER your nose and wash your damn hands. Realize the bigger picture, take care or yourself and be responsible.

How to Make a Career Doing What you Love

As you get into adulthood or while you are an adult you are figuring out what you want to do and what you don’t want to do and where you want to take your career or what you want to do in this life to provide for yourself and your family. Many times we may choose a job not because we like it but because it pays the bills and then you blink and its 10 years later and something that was supposed to be temporary turned into something much longer. Also many times family, friends, or society tries to force you into picking something to do because it may bring “security” but you may not be happy with doing that but out of fear of scarcity you do it anyway. Many dreams go unaccomplished because of fear, which is not your fault because many times it is projected onto us by others fears for themselves, but I am here to tell you it is not too late to chase your dreams or try new and different things or multiple things at once.

Yes you want to make money, but you don’t want to spend the bulk of your days (work days are usually 8 hours in more structured or corporate environments) and you definitely don’t want to spend 8 hours of your life daily doing something that makes you unhappy because it will start to show in all other parts of your life and you definitely don't want to spend that eight hours somewhere that doesn’t see your potential and doesn’t pay you your worth which may cause you to be barely scraping by.

Whether its a dream job at a different company and in a different position or its starting from scratch creating your on business or businesses or streams of income it is definitely possible to attain, but you have to decide how important is your happiness to you.

5 Tips to make a Career out of What you love:

1. Stop caring about what others think or have to say, you are in charge of your life.

   Many times people don’t follow through with their ideas or plans because they have allowed other people’s views and opinions to discourage them and make them feel like what they want to attain isn’t possible, but just because its not possible for them doesn’t mean its not possible for you. Do you want to spend your life wondering “what if” or do you want to try it and see if it works out and if it doesn't then back to the drawing board and on to the next. Learn to be satisfied with your own opinions of your life and choices therefore you have no reason to look anywhere for answers because your decision may already be made.

2. Take the time to explore yourself, your interests, your non-negotiables, what makes you happy, what do you really want

   Many times people may not know exactly what it is they want to do but they know that they don’t like what they currently are doing. Take the time to explore different interests and things outside of your comfort zone, take on things as hobbies and then decide if you want to take them any further and start learning how you can do that. Figure out what you want your daily life to look like, how much money would you need to live the lifestyle you desire, what things make you happy, what types of structure do you work best in (flexibility or something more set in stone daily). You can’t find out what you want to do if you don’t truly know who you are or where you want to end up.

3. Let go of limiting expectations and mindsets

   Stop thinking that just because something didn’t work instantly that it means it won’t happen. Instant gratification isn’t realistic so get out of that, if you want results put in the time, the work and the effort and you will eventually see the benefit which might come slow or they might come fast but you have to remember that slow and steady wins the race and this is a marathon stop being in such a rush to “finish”. Grow up and stop thinking that just because something didn’t go the way that you expected that its all over, if plan A didn’t work figure out a Plan B to make Plan A work or if you heard one no either keep moving to the next until you hear a yes or find a way to make that no a yes. If you want everything to go your way when you want it and your mindset stops there and goes no further then you are meant to stay in the unhappy position you’re in because you don’t really want it forreal. You say you want all this money and this great lifestyle but your’e not willing to put in the work and at the first sign of inconvenience or stress you’re ready to throw in the towel, make it make sense.

4. Stop tying yourself down to things

   It is okay to change your mind, it is okay to change your mindset and it is okay to change your life at any given time that you feel the strength to do so. You are not tied to doing something just because you started it, no you shouldn’t give up on things easily or quit, but if you’ve truly tried your best and are not happy then let it go and move on. Not everything has to last forever and nothing has to be set in stone if you don’t want it to. Find your power and take it back and stop letting everything else drag you through life.

5. Realize your path is yours for a reason and will be different from others, give yourself time and grace

   You may accomplish things at a different pace than the people around you, it may take you a little longer or it may take you less time but you will never know unless you try your own shit in your own way. Do things the way you want to not the way others are doing it or think you should do it. Be yourself and stop trying to be a duplicate version or everyone else. There is one of you and that is your power. Nothing is an overnight success so give yourself time and grace to grow into who you truly are and continuously elevate that. Comparison is the theif of joy, you aren’t them and they aren’t you.

No one said it would be easy but pick a hard.

5 Reasons Why and How to be High Maintenance

“Never test my patience Ni**a I’m high maintenance, high class, if you ain’t rollin’ bypass.”

— Amil 'Can I Get A' Verse

I hate that people try to make something wrong with people taking good care of themselves or requiring others to treat them with the same energy that they give themselves and I especially hate it when people do it to Black women. There is NOTHING wrong with spending money on yourself, buying yourself things even if they are on the expensive side, having maintenance that you budget into your finances etc. You should take care of yourself and be HIGH MAINTENANCE because being low maintenance isn’t anything to brag about no matter what people say.

Being high maintenance to me is caring about yourself and catering to the person that you are whether that means monthly nail, hair and spa appointments, shopping for yourself often, liking to make luxury purchases and wanting others to do the same for you, liking a certain quality of living and making sure that you look and feel like your best self at all times. Being high maintenance shouldn’t just be something that stops at what you look like but should extend to who you are inside and making sure that you explore yourself and find out what makes you feel your best self, it should reflect in your home life and how you make your living spaces feels and look, it extends to your career and what you are willing to accept, and how you make sure that you are being responsible financially. If you are not high maintenance I just gave you the answer to what it means to be, how you can be that and why you should be so moving forward begin learning yourself and who you are and elevate yourself to be high maintenance and you’ll wonder why you haven’t been did that.

To elevate is to be high maintenance and to be high maintenance means to properly care about yourself in all aspect, no matter how much you are spending make sure that you are taking great care and upkeep of how you look, how you feel and the moves you make.

5 Ways on how to be High Maintenance:

1. Invest in your appearance.

   Let’s be forreal, your appearance speaks before your personality. No one is telling you to go splurge money on clothes, bags and shoes that you don’t have but invest in grooming like having your hair done, making sure your skin looks good, getting or doing your nails and toes, buying quality body and haircare products etc. because you truly feel good when you look good and too many people undermine and minimize that statement when it holds so much value in many different aspects. Now to clothing, invest in flattering clothing that fits your style, you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have quality pieces but if you have the money to spend YESSSSSS SIS GO FOR IT AND COME BACK AND TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT! Find your style, figure out who you want to be and what you want to look like ad what best represents your best self then do that. Investing in your appearance doesn’t just mean spending money but investing time, like investing time into working out to build the body that you want, taking the time to cook more home cooked meals for yourself, taking time to drink more water, taking time to care about the quality of the food you eat and much more,

2. Take time to figure out who you are, build a strong mindset

   Yes appearance is important but what’s even more important than that is taking time to learn and explore yourself to find out truly who you are and then after you figure that out building a stong mindset and confidence to properly carry that power. This isn’t a job that happens overnight but something that is continuous because we are constantly changing, once you figure out what your strengths, weaknesses, emotions and thoughts are you will have found your power and once you find out that information you can start changing or loving whatever things you wan to keep and whatever things you want to change. In order to be taken seriously in this life or to even take yourself seriously you have to be confident in who you are and what you have to offer, you have to be strong minded in what you believe, what you know, what you want to learn and where you want to go. Like I said this is a lifelong task but once you have it you continue to carry it with you and strengthen it as you go, if you haven’t gone down that journey of figuring yourself out start TODAY, START RIGHT NOW

3. Figure out what do you want to do in this life to afford the lifestyle you desire

   Figure out where you want to go in life and what things do you value more, for instance do you want to stay in a “comfortable” position for secure money but you’re unhappy or do you want to take a chance on something that brings you joy and could eventually bring you money? What’s more important to you money or your happiness, because once you figure out what makes you happy with handwork it will start to make money for you. What is it that you are interested in? It doesn’t have to be one thing, you can come up with different things and find ways to try them all and whatever doesn’t work leave it but if you know what you love to do then do that. Do you want a more corporate structure or do you want to create your own lane and become a business owner or entrepreneur or even do both? Even if you don’t know what you want to do just start the process of at least figuring out what you like and don’t like because you have to start somewhere. Don’t let people, family, society, social media or friends decide what you should do, go down your path even if its less traveled.

4. Be responsible

   Figure out how you can make your finances work for you. Plan, save, invest, always learn. Figure out how whatever you’re doing can afford you to have the things you desire. If you want to fit shopping, saving, traveling, investing, monthly maintenance appointments, outings with friends etc. into your budget be strategic with how you spend and make a real budget to afford those things or use that as a tool to fuel your hustle so you can work and make the money to afford those things you desire in the life you want to live. If you want to go have brunch or go out with your friends a few times a month figure out how you can do that by properly using the money you have or figure out how you can add more income to yourself to make that happen because those things make you happy. I am not saying to be materialistic or worry about spending your money on things that you shouldn’t be, but I’m a firm believer in hustling and having ambition and work ethic to make happen what you want to come true so if you being able to go to Sunday Funday brunch with the girls, go shopping once a month, get your hair done, a wax, you nails done and eyebrows monthly is what motivates you to get a bag then so be it, but just make sure that with doing those things you’re taking care of your responsibilities like bills if you have them, business if you have it, groceries, saving or whatever else.

5. Do it for you and nobody else

   Being high maintenance is an all around thing over here it doesn’t just stop at how you look like I said before but it does include that, being stylish isn’t a hobby it’s a lifestyle and that’s exactly what I mean by that. Everything that I’m telling you is for you and not anybody else, do this for you to feel good, for you to feel motivated to elevate and do more, for you to feel inspired to look like and be your best self, and to just be everything you imagined and making yourself happy by doing that. You matter the most to you, nobody else’s opinion should matter especially if they care more about you and your life than their own.

Invest lots of time into yourself from the inside out, it will truly show in the way you talk, the way you talk and your mannerisms. Be high maintenance because its about more than buying things but taking care of yourself like a luxury item because you are. If they’re bragging about being low maintenance and accepting the bare minimum from people then they are definitely not who you should be listening to, so teach yourself to look within for answers and truly trust and be confident in yourself.

5 Ways to Remix your Pieces

On the internet people love to make people believe they can’t wear their own clothes more than once for all of these reasons that make no sense, but I’m here to tell you that you can because I do it all the time and I have a closet full of clothes and could buy more when I want but when I shop I shop for pieces that I can get multiple wears out of.

So I’m here to give you some tips on how to remix your pieces and wear them as many times as you want and if you do it right people won’t even be able to tell its the same piece, but if they do notice so what they’re in your business and shouldn’t do that.

5 Ways to Remix your Pieces:

1. Get quality and/or statement pieces

   When you invest in pieces that truly are wardrobe staples you don’t have to worry about wearing the same things twice because you can wear it so many different ways

2. Don’t shop per outfit

   When you only by pieces when you’re buying a whole outfit you limit how you can wear it, don’t get pieces that only go with the things you bought at that time because then it’ll be hard to figure out what else you can wear it with

3. Wear it a different way

   When you want to repeat an item in your closet try to wear it completely different than the first time you wore it or style it differently by adding a different shoe, bag or accessory piece

4. Stop caring about what other people think

   This actually is rule number one, once you stop caring about what other people think and trying to look and be like everybody else you will feel more free to try different styles and looks and wear your clothes as many times as you want because you bought them and its your business. As long as you wash it wear it as many times as you want, period.

5. Know your style or hire help

   A part of being able to remix your looks is actually having style and knowing what your style is. Anybody can buy fashion or clothes but not everybody has style, take the time to figure out what yours is and how to bring it to life but if you don’t have the vision for it or you’re having a hard time hire a stylist or personal shopper because you would rather pay someone to help you that knows what they’re doing than to keep wasting your money on stuff you don’t need or won’t wear.

I hope that these tips will help you in remixing your pieces and getting enough wear for the price that you pay for your things. The goal of a good wardrobe is versatility. For closet consultation and wardrobe styling services you can email me shakaylae@yahoo.com to book a consultation and we can get that wardrobe in order.

5 Tips on How to Make Your Home Quarantine Comfortable

So we’re in the house and most of us have been for the last seven months, whether you’ve been working from home and your job is keeping it that way, you work for yourself or went back to work but you may be returning back home soon due to the seasons changing and the second wave of COVID approaching due to flu and cold season, and as we all know if you have to be home all day everyday you want to make sure your home is a space you actually want to be in.

When working at home you want to make sure that your home is a place that motivates you to work or that you feel comfortable enough to be in, and no everyone may not have their own place and that’s okay but whether the whole place is yours or you just have a room or other spaces you can use I wanted to give you some tips on how to make your spaces quarantine comfortable.

5 Tips on How to elevate your Space for Quarantine:

1. Make sure it smells good

   There’s nothing better than a space that smells as good as it looks and makes you want to be there

   -Get candles

   There are lots of amazing Black Owned Candle businesses, check out my Black owned business directory, Google and Instagram. One of my favorite Black owned candle companies is Lit BKLYN, as well as overall great candles at different stores and online. Browse the internet for good recommendations.

   -Get a humidifier

   Sold at Amazon, Target, Homegoods, TJ Maxx etc. at all different prices and you can get sets of essential oils

   Humidifiers are a great way to not only keep your space smelling good but to purify your air and help keep your mind and body calm and destress you without you even having to do anything. They are good to have and good for your health

   2. Keep your space clean and organized

   Whether you have a room, apartment or house make sure you keep it CLEAN, there’s nothing worse than being in a dirty or cluttered space (especially for me being the germaphobe I am) take the time out of your day to clean up your space and pick up after yourself if you make a mess so the job doesn’t pile up

   Stay organized, hit up Homegoods or Amazon for some storage organizers or whatever you need to buy to make sure everything has a place. A cleaner space helps to declutter your thoughts

   3. Make it pretty

   Make sure your space looks like something you want to see, not saying you have to go full blown HGTV, but by surrounding yourself with things you like to look at it makes your work space more comfortable and it may inspire you to even work harder.

   Check out Pinterest for ideas on decorating everything from your desk to your whole room or space, you can get low cost decor from Amazon, Homegoods, TJMaxx etc. take a little more time to care about other things that may brighten your mood and you’ll see and feel the difference

4. Find a designated area where you will work

Yes you may be at home but that doesn’t mean work from your bed everyday, not having a designated area to work can make you more lazy and off task. Set up a work area that includes a desk or something to work on and all of the things you will need to get things done

Working from the bed may be something you end up doing once a week just because you need a break and you’re human but don’t make it an everyday thing.

5. Set the tone

Working from home can start to make your home feel less enjoyable if you let it.

Set a time of when you will work and make a space for where you work so you know that your work doesn’t leave that area and you are only at that area from this time to that time, also take breaks for lunch or just to chill even if you’re not leaving out the house

Play some music, a podcast or a show in the background so you have something to get you going and keep you entertained while you work.

Open the blinds for some sunlight and get yourself ready to be productive whether that’s eating breakfast before you start working, drinking some tea, working out before work or whatever else you see fit.

Not to say that everyday will be perfect but Working from home doesn’t have to be a drag if you can spruce up the place where you are working and living and now this is where you are most of the day, if you set the tone for how you want your work day to go and if you set the vibe to get yourself in the mood to get things done!

Know is a better time than any to make renovations and spruce up where you now lay your head and work.

McBride Sisters Black Girl Magic Riesling Wine Review

I have been wanting to try the McBride sisters wine since I first heard about them a few years ago and the fact that they were two Black sisters with their own wine company got me and I first saw them on the Black cooking show Brown + Butter on Aspire so I was sold . I just thought it was amazing to see that two Black women came out with their own wine especially because I love wine and and thought it was so cool that they had one called Black Girl Magic, but I just never got around to purchasing a bottle and it could only be bought online. But last week when I was out grocery shopping and went to Trader Joe’s they had a whole section that said “Supporting Diversity” with all Black owned wines which I had never seen them do before so it must be something new, but I was so happy because despite popular belief Black people shop at Trader Joe’s especially Black women and we love to see products made by us for us on the shelves of the stores that we frequent, and its one thing to say you “stand with us” during peaks of racial injustice but its another to actually put action behind your words and show that you truly do support diversity and Black people especially if we spend money at your stores.

In this section of the store it was set up very nicely and it included the McBride Sisters Black Girl Magic Riesling and their Red blend as well as Mary J. Blige the icon’s wine Sun Goddess Pinot Grigio and Sauvignon Blanc which I didn’t even know MJB had a wine until that day, but I will definitely be back at Trader Joe’s to get it and I’m so glad to know that I can pick it up at a store near me.

So now that I told you where I was able to grab it and how happy I was to see Trader Joe’s showing real alliance let’s get into the taste of the wine… So I’m usually a Pinot Grigio girl when it comes to white wine so initially I wasn’t a fan of the Riesling it just tasted too “winey” and it was dry like Riesling is but after the first couple sips I started to enjoy it and kept pouring a little bit more and it didn’t help that the day I got it and opened it I was sitting watching the VP Debate and watching Kamala Harris eat Mike Pense up so watching a very educated Black woman who is running as Vice President in the 2020 Presidential Election while drinking Black woman owned wine was a vibe, definitely Black Girl Magic

Even though I am not a Riesling Girl I still give this wine a 9/10 because it was good after the first few sips, it did have me pouring another glass, it was quality wine and it was Black Owned so I would definitely suggest you try it, I’m not sure if other Trader Joe’s locations have it or other stores but if you would like some you can click here to get it on their website.

The have other wines aside from their Black Girl Magic Collection and they have bottled and canned wines, so if you love to sit at home and enjoy a good glass of wine click the link above to shop the variety of options they have and get you some Black Owned wine.

Fall Wardrobe Essentials

So with us offficially having been in the Fall season for a few weeks now I know everyone is in the process of going Fall and Winter shopping because I know over the span of the past few weeks I’ve been buying pieces and I’ll probably still be doing that over the next few weeks/months and while doing so I definitely feel like I need a sponsor because I’m tired of spending my own money lol.

But for me Fall is my favorite season and I love Fall and Winter for fashion, I just feel like all of Fashion is better during these seasons, I feel like you can do more and be a little more creative with your pieces and everything just hits so well if you know how to dress yourself.

My Fall wardrobe is going to consist of texture, quality, and statement pieces, I am at a point with my wardrobe where I am fully building it out, going in a different direction with certain things and evolving my look into more of what I want and want to look like at my age right now and who I am. I am looking for piecesssss and that’s it, like I want to have something for everything, I want to have everything I need down to different color great quality plain jogging suit sets and separates.

I am building out a full wardrobe to where I am satisfied with everything in my closet, I have something to wear for everything whether its chill or more dressed up and I have great pieces that can be paired with anything as well as having things that are in different colors that I usually wouldn’t buy just for the times that I want to pop out with something colorful and I know its there if I ever want to wear it.

Of course you will buy and grab what fits your style or what you like the best but this list is full of items that are the basic pieces you need to have in your wardrobe, things that are versatile and can be worn with different looks, outerwear pieces that complete a look because in the colder seasons your coat/jacket is seen before your look and it must be giving the same amount of greatness as your look is.

When shopping for a new season there are some things you need to have an also of course things you want, if you want to go in a different direction with your look or just spice it up a bit now is the time because its a whole new season and you’re shopping anyway.

I hope that this list gives you an idea of how to start your Fall shopping jouney!

xo

5 Tip on How to Plan Your Month

When a new month or a new quarter rolls around the planning begins if you are a planner like I am, it takes a little more time and effort than planning your day or week. When its a new month or quarter and you have a business or businesses or you just have a lot on your plate it is important to set goals and have an organized way to go about accomplishing them.

5 Tips on How to Plan Your Month:

1. Try to do it before the month starts if you can

   This will allow you to get ahead of yourself and to plan out what you want to accomplish before the month can meet you with things you didn’t expect. Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t get around to this before the month starts but if you can then do so. Take a little bit of time after your other obligations are maybe at the end of the night or do it while you’re working and plan out what you want to get done personally and with business, what growth do you want to see, what things worked in the current month that may not work in the next and what do you need to do more or less of. Write it out and make it plan, also don’t be so stuck in your plan that things don’t have room to change especially if the change is for the better.

2. Set realistic goals

   Be honest with yourself on what you have the time and energy to complete, you don’t want to set unrealistic goals that you don’t have the current capacity to complete and then end up disappointed at the end of the month because you got nothing done, I’m not saying be easy on yourself or don’t try to challenge yourself but be aware of who you are, how you work and what is already on your plate. If what you need is more resources or information to accomplish larger goals focus on getting that.

3. Break down your goals

   Break down each of your goals on how you can go about accomplishing them. What do you need to do daily to meet your goals, how much time do you need to dedicate to each thing, what things does each goal require you to do. Take the things on your monthly to do list and break them down on your daily and weekly to-do lists if to-do lists are your thing. Don’t just write things down but put action into accomplishing them and making them real.

4. Allow yourself grace

   Sometimes things happen that we didn’t expect and can’t prevent so if those things happen and they alter your plans don’t beat yourself up about it because it was out of your control, but figure out how to adjust and change what is necessary. If you don’t get a few goals done but don’t feel like you have a valid reason it is okay, you are not on a deadline and if you know that you gave your best then that’s all you can do and just try harder the next month to get more accomplished. you don’t want to beat yourself into burnout or depression and not want to do anything at all. You are only one person and you are not a superhero, remember that you are now where you used to pray to be.

5. Put relaxation on that list as something to do

   With all the goal you may have that you want to accomplish you still have to make sure that you are giving yourself time to enjoy your life outside of work, to recoup in order to be able to continue working, to enrich yourself so you have the energy to keep elevating. Don’t think that the grind and hustle are the only things that are important, your well being is more important than that because if you aren’t well then you can’t even enjoy the fruits of your labor and the things that you’ve worked to accomplish. Take days off. implement them into your schedule, allow yourself to unwind at night and get adequate amounts of sleep (definitely talking to myself too)

I hope that everyone accomplish all of the goals that they set for themselves and go out with a bang this year especially since there has been so much going on. Remember to enjoy your moments while they are happening, you deserve relaxation too and slow progress and small ins are still worth celebration.